Two Sparrows in a Hurricane

As I was driving to work early this morning, I heard Tanya Tucker on the radio, singing her song Two Sparrows in a Hurricane. The words of the chorus made me think about marriage and I wanted to post a few of my thoughts as I listened. First, here are the lyrics from her song:

Like two sparrows in a hurricane

Are trying to find their way

With a head full of dreams

And faith that can move anything

They’ve heard it’s all uphill

But all they know is how they feel

The world says they’ll never make it

Love says they will.

The particular line that stood out to me this morning was “They’ve heard it’s all uphill.” It made me reflect for a bit and question, is it really all uphill in a marriage? Is that a good illustration for what marriage is? For what marriage should be? And I think it is.

The idea of going “uphill” usually connotes something of difficulty - we hate those long, slow, painful uphill parts of a bike ride, and relish the downhill glides. “Uphill both ways” is a phrase many of our parents have used to describe how life was difficult when they were our age. But not everything about “uphill” is actually bad.

The higher you climb, the better the view. People will gladly endure a 3 hour trek up a rocky mountain path, because at the end (or at the top) they know they’ll get to see an incredible view that will make it all worth the climb. And if you have ever done a hike up a mountain, you know that at first, you can’t see anything. It’s just trees and more trees, oh, and some rocks too. But as you climb a little higher, eventually you begin to see breaks in the trees, and you start to realize you are getting higher. You can then see over the tops of some trees you’ve already passed by. Then there will be some rock outcroppings where you can take a water break and see a nice view - not from the top, but still nice. And as you continue higher and higher, the view gets better and better, until you reach the top. And you forget how sweaty and tired you are, because your eyes are commanding all of your attention now, and they are amazed.

How is this like marriage? I think marriage is very similar to a mountain climb, and it takes your whole life to get to the top. Some people get tired of climbing, and falsely believe that what’s at the top isn’t worth continuing on, and they quit, heading back down the mountain. But one of the strengths of my own marriage has been our commitment to working together, to continuing on - forward - no matter the difficulty. Arguments? Those are stones that we stumble over, and sometimes we fell and skin our knee or hand - and we are left with scars, but we keep moving. Stumbling isn’t fatal. Times when you just aren’t feeling it and you’re tired of trying so hard? These are the times when the ascent gets steeper and our progress slows, but it’s only temporary. We can stop and take a water break to rest and refresh ourselves. This would be maybe counseling, or getting back into prayer and studying the Bible together - you need rejuvenation at times to continue the journey. But you do what you need in order to keep moving up.

And as you move up the mountain, together with your spouse, the view gets better and better, and you share that together. You see together that it’s worth it, and things continue to improve. That’s one of the biggest things I’ve seen in the last year with my wife, now that we’ve been married 7 1/2 years. We have had our times of apathy, and arguments, and dislike - but because we kept struggling uphill, sometimes one step at a time with long breaks in between, and because we kept working TOGETHER, as a team, we have bonded and have accomplished a lot. Marriage is so much deeper than romantic interest - because romantic interest is nice, but it doesn’t come in very handy when you need to get up a mountain. The things that do come in handy are trust, cooperation, honesty, transparency, forgiveness, grace, love that bears through difficult times. Those will be the things that help you keep moving uphill.

The reason I liked Ms. Tucker’s lyrics was because they say it’s always uphill. Some people want to work for a while and then cruise. You can’t cruise in a marriage. It IS always uphill, and that’s not a bad thing. You should always be struggling for more in your marriage, to see better views, to work together to scale higher and higher.

What’s at the top? When do we ever get there? I think marriage is essentially a never-ending mountain; you never get to the top of it. But it’s so high that as you climb, each time you get one step higher and see the view from there, you think “It can’t be better than this.” And then you take another step higher.